Why are there so many people trying to get my hard-earned money with their scams? I must get 3 dozen email scams every day. There are widows of foreign dignitaries who would love to give me millions if I would send just a few thousand so they can get their husband's money out of some legal tangle. There are people who don't want one cent from me, but they will help me earn pounds of money with my computer if I send them my credit card number to cover postage and handling... It must be working for them if they keep doing it.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Cape Cod Blues
Old Cape Cod... When Patty Page sang "You're sure to fall in love with old Cape Cod" it was a different place.
I was born here, raised here, spent most of my life here. I HATE IT HERE!!
The Cape used to be a very nice place to live. It has changed. You see, there were all these people who came to visit here. They lived in places that sucked. They would visit here and think "Oh what a lovely place with such nice people." They would go back home and say "Boy oh boy! Home sure sucks" After years of this back and forth, a huge herd of people from the sucky places all decided to move to the Cape. The only problem was that when they moved from the sucky places, they dragged along with them the very thing that made the sucky places suck so much. What was that, you ask? They all brought their own sucky selves!! Now Cape Cod sucks! It is an unfriendly, snobby place just like they made their old towns to be. I have been here for 55 years and I see the newbies and all the suckiness they cart around with them.
A week ago I went to a secret town in an unnamed state. I will not tell you where it is because I am afraid when I tell you about it, you will want to move there and you might be one of those sucky people. I want to move there and I don't want to have to leave because of another suckyperson invasion.
This place I visited has the most delightful people. When you make eye contact with them, they smile and give you a warm hello. When you have a conversation with anyone they say you should move to their town and they say they would love to have you. And they mean it.
I went to a church service while there and after the service was swarmed by all these smiley faces and handshakes telling me I was welcome. When I first started going to my Cape Cod church, I almost felt like an intruder.
When I came back from my trip to Nicepeopletown, I did a little experiment. I smiled at strangers here to see if they would smile back. Out of about 20 people I got one smile. Most people looked away as though they thought I might be dangerous. In Nicepeopletown, They smile first. They don't wait for you to smile. And they don't flee in fear if you say hello in passing.
I have decided I will move to Nicepeopletown in about a year or so. I have to sell my house to buy a place there. Speaking of which, you can get a 4 bedroom, 2 bathroom house there for about $100,000. Here that would cost you about $350,000 for a place with postage stamp size rooms. You can get land there for $1,500 an acre!! Here it is about $200,000 for one acre in a cramped neighborhood. There it is easy to find a 20 acre parcel.
So I will not tell anyone here where Nicepeopletown is lest a flock of suckypeople visit there and say "Oh what a lovely place with such nice people!" and make me have to move again.
Do you wanna buy my house?
I was born here, raised here, spent most of my life here. I HATE IT HERE!!
The Cape used to be a very nice place to live. It has changed. You see, there were all these people who came to visit here. They lived in places that sucked. They would visit here and think "Oh what a lovely place with such nice people." They would go back home and say "Boy oh boy! Home sure sucks" After years of this back and forth, a huge herd of people from the sucky places all decided to move to the Cape. The only problem was that when they moved from the sucky places, they dragged along with them the very thing that made the sucky places suck so much. What was that, you ask? They all brought their own sucky selves!! Now Cape Cod sucks! It is an unfriendly, snobby place just like they made their old towns to be. I have been here for 55 years and I see the newbies and all the suckiness they cart around with them.
A week ago I went to a secret town in an unnamed state. I will not tell you where it is because I am afraid when I tell you about it, you will want to move there and you might be one of those sucky people. I want to move there and I don't want to have to leave because of another suckyperson invasion.
This place I visited has the most delightful people. When you make eye contact with them, they smile and give you a warm hello. When you have a conversation with anyone they say you should move to their town and they say they would love to have you. And they mean it.
I went to a church service while there and after the service was swarmed by all these smiley faces and handshakes telling me I was welcome. When I first started going to my Cape Cod church, I almost felt like an intruder.
When I came back from my trip to Nicepeopletown, I did a little experiment. I smiled at strangers here to see if they would smile back. Out of about 20 people I got one smile. Most people looked away as though they thought I might be dangerous. In Nicepeopletown, They smile first. They don't wait for you to smile. And they don't flee in fear if you say hello in passing.
I have decided I will move to Nicepeopletown in about a year or so. I have to sell my house to buy a place there. Speaking of which, you can get a 4 bedroom, 2 bathroom house there for about $100,000. Here that would cost you about $350,000 for a place with postage stamp size rooms. You can get land there for $1,500 an acre!! Here it is about $200,000 for one acre in a cramped neighborhood. There it is easy to find a 20 acre parcel.
So I will not tell anyone here where Nicepeopletown is lest a flock of suckypeople visit there and say "Oh what a lovely place with such nice people!" and make me have to move again.
Do you wanna buy my house?
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